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Thursday, September 3, 2009

It Happened Again Today...Still Confused and a bit Freaked

here's the previous note i posted about this...

-ok, soo.. im not an extremely religious person and ive never really felt comfortable with the church scene, i attribute this to never finding the right church, all the ones ive gone to have been mainly geard towards older people and me being the only youth there... i know it shouldnt matter and its not about social stuff but, many of the people are comfortable with each other and no one else being around

i do believe in God and that He controls everything and that everything He does has a purpose, but i have never felt close to Him...sometimes i wish i was closer to Him

im one of those people who doesnt think that you necessarily need to go to church to be religious, i just never felt the need to have to go somewhere to prove my belief in God and make it a social thing

ive never really gone to church on a regular basis, so this is why i felt so awkward monday..

ok, so i was walking across campus and happen to have to pass the chapel in the middle of campus, i felt drawn to it.. something was just telling me to go closer to it.. i ignored it, but it happened again yesterday

im a bit confused, i dont know why, but i just feel like i should strengthen my religion, like im probably going to need it really soon to get through something, i dont know what, and that scares me, im not trying to deny the pull, i just dont feel comfortable, with this that i dont understand

im never felt drawn to a church before, i just dont understand whats going on, i have to pass by there tomorrow and of the pattern continues, the pull is going to be even stronger... im going to get pulled towards the chapel again....

i hope this makes sense, ive debated since yesterday to write this or not, i dont know if ive made the right decison or not, im afraid some might read this and find me ignorant,.. i just dont know, this might be off here soon... 

*posted March 12*

something similar happend today...

ok, so today i was out drivin around and i got this feeling again when i passed a church ive passed a million times before, but never with the feeling i got today... i felt drawn again, and again it kinda scares me... i just have this feeling that something bad is gonna happen soon and im going to need my faith to be stronger, thats the part that scares me...

im just not comfortable if i dont know whats going on, im getting freaked

again, im still not sure i should post this, .. please dont take me as ignorant, im just trying to understand

*this is from June 23*

1 comment:

  1. hey hun, it doesnt necessarily mean something bad is going to happen maybe God just misses you in His house.