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Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Who am I

I am simple yet complex
I am lover and a fighter
I am unique yet the same

I am me
I am who I am

I am in only child by blood
But I have many siblings, they’re just called friends in your eyes
They are here for me through it all

I am not as tough as I seem
I have a soft side rarely seen

I have walls, very high
They fall, I get hurt, they come back higher and stronger
Protection, I need to protect myself, I’ve been hurt, I say never again, but who knows

I have learned a lot in the last few years
I’ve made mistakes
But I do NOT have regrets; those mistakes have made me who I am today

I have gone through more loss than you know... that’s ok though
I am stronger for it

There is way more to me than you even know
I show you the surface, nothing more

I am changed
Hopefully for the better
I am growing
I am moving, forward I hope
But I go backwards to
I am stuck right now, ill figure it out though… I hope

I am the girl who can smile through it
I can hide it all
I can brighten your day on my darkest
I can show you my heart, but only if I want to

I can trust, but I don’t
If you gain my trust, you have me till I die
If you lose it, I’m sorry, it is hard to get back

I can close my eyes, yet I can’t shut off my heart
It is my downfall
I care for you more than you care for me
I love you more than you love me

I put me second time and time again
One day it IS going to kill me

I let things eat away at me
I push them down
I show no emotion
I am strong for you

I’m hesitant
I’m confused

I am shy
I am too nice

I’m scared to be happy
I’m scared you’ll leave me
I need you, I’ve already lost the ones I need the most
I’m scared ill be alone

I’m not happy with me
I don’t expect you to be with me either…its ok

I question... a lot
I shouldn’t, but I do... and that scares me
I doubt when I shouldn’t
I don’t accept when I should

I try to fix it all
I want to make YOU feel better
I hate when my friends hurt… I hurt
I don’t just say I want your pain, I really do and will take it if you let me

 this is who i am today, but it will change... dont judge me on my past, nor on what you think ill do, think of me today & if you are gonna judge, dont jump to conclusions, im not the same person i was yesterday or will be tomorrow.

 *this is probably an ongoing list...check back if you want*

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