Music = survival

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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Cracka K

It's been some time, since you've been gone
I thought by now, I would be strong
I think of you, and shed my tears
I wonder who, will steal my fears.
Your memories remain, inside my heart
My soul it seems, to be torn apart
You told me secrets, I hold so dear
I only wish, you would be near.
I still miss and love you, can't you see
I wish to hold, and talk with thee
So many things, I could not say
And now you've gone, so far away.
You taught me to, in God believe
You said He would always, take care of me
So take my hand, and guide me there
And save a place, one day to share.

December 4, 1986- November 23, 2003

Friday, November 20, 2009

Im tired of the yelling
Im tired of the fighting
Im tired of the shit

Im tired of pretending
Im tired of faking it
Im tired of lying
Im just tired...

I cant take the stress
I need out
This is the only option i see right now

Im tired of the hurting
Im tired of the pain
Everyone will be much better once this is done

Im sorry i wasnt ideal
Im sorry for the pain
Just know i always loved you,
No matter what
Dont forget that

One day we'll be together again
Maybe then we'll get it right
Less pain, less suffering, less heart ache
It will all be over soon

-km <3

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I just want to tell you how much you mean to me. You really have no idea, well maybe some idea, of how much i love you. We have come so far & gotten so much closer as of late, im very thankful for that. You have that rare ability to calm me in any situation. Without you, i'm pretty sure i would die. I see only a tad of what you put up with & go through, i wish i knew how to help & take some of your pain & worry. I don't know who i would be without you, i know i would be worse off. You are the only one who truly 'gets' me, you are an angel in my eyes. Its so nice to have someone who understands & i can always talk to. I hope everyone can have someone like you in their life. I dont deserve to have you as a part of mine, but im so blessed that you are though. My love for you is the best kind of all in my opinion, not the romantic, but the true love of friendship & life. I'm here for you & always will be. I really do trust you with my own life.

I love you,
-kris <3

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

6 Years

I’ve tried so hard not to think about it
I can’t stop the thoughts anymore
I just lost control of it all…

I can’t believe it’s been six years
I miss your smile
I miss you jokes
I think about you everyday
Just wish I could have said goodbye
I knew I’d lose you someday
Just didn’t know that day would be so soon
Wasn’t ready for it
Gone so young
It’s not fair

Why’d you have to leave us?
I guess He needed his angel back
Sent you to us for just a short time
Impacted us all so much
School was just never the same once you were gone

I’ll never forget the day
Sitting in class, got the word
Disbelief, my Bird was gone
Couldn’t be, he’s my superman…invincible
Next few days a whirl
Tears were shed, memories shared
All a blur

Twelve years of laughs

Urtie Bird, just can’t believe you’ve been gone six years
Everyday ill continue to think about you
That smile, that love, those names, those jokes
Bird u gave me my wings, showed me how to fly
I lost mine the day I lost you
I know your still soaring though
In my heart forever, never far from my mind
One day we’ll meet again
Until then
I love you #3

Samuel *urtie bird* Urton
June 10,1988-November 11,2003

My Bird, My #3, My Angel

i wrote this about a year after we lost Sam...
My eyes fill with tears

Just another school year without you here

To hold my hand like you did before

I try to think of the happy times

Memories that were so fun to make

I try to be happy knowing you’re in a better place

But it hurts knowing I can’t see your smile or hear your laugh when I crack a stupid joke

We shared so many secrets and so many joy-filled times

My heart over flows with your undying image
After you left the fights seemed so petty and the good times so few

We took for granted thinking we had so much time

But we never knew your life would be cut so short

You had so many dreams and goals for the future

But they were buried in the ground

Everyone cried when they got the news

We couldn't quite believe you were gone with no goodbyes
It turned my whole perfect world upside down

Nothing seemed to break through

Until you came to me in that dream and told me to let go

You said there was no more pain and everything was fine

You told me to be happy and go on with my life

Then you kissed me gently on the cheek, smiled and faded away

Now I know that you are truly gone

But the pain is sometimes strong

The fog around my heart is slowly disappearing

And I'm learning to love again

Your fate taught me to live my life the best I can each day

Never trust tomorrow cause it might not be there

So I stand here in the hallway as the tears run down my face

I smile and think

You were my love

You were my friend

And you'll be forever in my heart

<3 6/10/88-11/11/03 <3