As i lie here awake
i have so many questions flowing in my mind...
I wonder if its worth it
i wonder if im doing this right
i wonder who is here for me & who is here for themself
i wonder how ill b remembered, if ill b remembered
i wonder if ive done enough so far...
I know i should do more & i know i shouldnt wait for tomorro to do so, tomorro's not guanteed...
i think about what im doin to make life better..is it enough? id like to say yes, but i just dont know
how can i make everyones life better, am i doing enough? Again id like to say yes, but i dont think so...
I think about all the mistakes ive made, were they worth it, not WORTH it, but w/out them, im not the person i am today...
Do i have regrets, ehh, i dont wanna say regrets, i dont think i regret anything... ive learned from them & if givin the chance to do it over, id decline, again, what ive done, good or bad, has made me who i am today...
i dont know what is going to work out or not, i guess thats life... U just go with it & if it works cool, if not, go another way...
Too many people wanna take the 'easy' road...no way, take the other one, the easy road is usually not the right one... Ill choose to make my own road, go my way... if it works, cool, if not, there are millions of other unwalkd paths i can take... either way w/ my friends by my side, ill b ok in the end...
Most of all, i wonder if people know how much they mean to me,
i dont wanna have anymore people that i didnt finish talking too
i dont wanna b left thinking , 'did i say all i needed to say', unfortunatly, i already have a few of those, ill never get the chance to tell them how i really felt & make sure they had no doubts about my love for them... I cant change that part now, but i can make sure no one else has those doubts...
i can sit here & think of a million things that people would say id need to do differently, & yes, somethings i should have done different, but thats in the past now & i cant change it, all i can do it learn from it & use it to do things different in the future...
Again, the word 'regret' will b brought up, seriously ya'll i have no regrets, i did what i did, right or wrong, for a reason, maybe not a good one, but still it had a purpose, & im ME today b/c of those decisions i made... trust me, there will b more 'wrong' moves in the future, but all i can hope for is that i learn from them & keep going...
Im really trying to always look at things in a positive way, but if i slip & have a negative day or days... Just remind me of how lucky i am! All of you are lucky to be alive & well & im lucky that i have YOU! :)
If u read my late night ramblings, cool... If not, thats cool too b/c thats all they are, spurts of thoughts, scrambled together...
Peace&Love
-k
*written August 2*
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